The mothership: Hay Festival, Hay-on-Wye, Brecon Beacons National Park, Welsh Borders, May 26-June 5. The first time I went to Hay, I was a very poorly paid cub reporter very keen to see Bob Geldof bantering with Rosie Boycott and David Starkey savage Lyn Barber. Lack of money never a deterrent, I spent the day soaking up the book talk and the night sleeping in the back of my boyfriend's car (long story but reader, I married him). Great times at “The Woodstock of the mind” (as Clinton rechristened it), yes, but stiff neck also. There's really no need, however, as the granddaddy of all literary festivals is amply served by some great hotels. So whilst perusing this year's fantastic line-up (Dara O'Briain, Dave Gilmour and Polly Samson, Peter Carey, Marlon James, Caitlin Moran, Germaine Greer, Tippi Hedren), book yourself into somewhere gorgeous. I suggest the stunning Hafod y Garreg in nearby Erwood, a grade 2 listed treasure known as the oldest house in Wales. It's a B&B but serves dinners too and sits in the Wye Valley hidden in a hollow surrounded by hills and larch forests. The breakfasts, dished out on a huge 16th century refectory table, are to die for.
The urban cool one: Stoke Newington Literary festival, London, June 3-5. Because not everyone fancies trekking out into the middle of nowhere, I thought I'd throw in the Stokey Lit festival, the spiritual home of Hipsters everywhere, and a new chapter in the festival calendar since 2014 (see what I did there?). Last year's star turns included big-brained Will Self, Fay Weldon, Mark Thomas, Yasmin Alibhai Brown and journalist Zoe Williams so expect some similarly cool, smart and wordy people this year (the line-up is not yet published). This being Stoke Newington, leave the Fedora at home and wear your best beanie and moustache-less beard please. The festival's not just about books, mind. It describes itself as an annual celebration of literature, music, science, political debate, comedy and art. Imagine what's going on inside the editor of the Guardian's head, basically, and that's pretty much what you'll see here. Don't forget your muesli! Stay at The Old Ship Inn in Hackney opposite the Hackney Empire which combines tradition with comfort – think excellent Sunday roasts and fabulous bang-up-to-date deluxe rooms.
The grown-up one: The Stratford Literary Festival, Stratford Upon Avon, April 24 –May1. Now in its ninth year, Stratford really packs a punch with the literary heavyweights but the festival is just as known for its eclectic performer choices. For instance, this year sees Brooklyn rapper Devon Glover AKA The Sonnet Man attempt to recite all of Shakespeare's 154 sonnets non-stop in hip hop speak (dontchaknow) while elsewhere on site actor Martin Jarvis and his wife Rosalind Ayres join composer Richard Sisson to celebrate the life of Beatrix Potter. Presenter Chris Packham will launch his memoirs, debut author and Costa First Novel winner Andrew Michael Hurley will talk about his novel The Loney and Joanna Cannon will debate her bestseller The Trouble With Goats and Sheep. You'll also hear from former Blue Peter presenter Janet Ellis who will discuss her novel The Butcher's Hook. Book your accommodation early as Stratford always fills quickly. Treat yourself with a stay at the utterly luxurious neo-Gothic Ettington Park, five miles from the centre. With 40 acres of parkland, vaulted ceilings, stained glass windows and divine dinners in the Oak Room, it tops off a perfect literary day.
The one by the seaside: Sun, Sea and Books Sidmouth Literary Festival, Kennaway House, Sidmouth, Devon, June 10 and 11. Ooh, now there's another reason to head to this wonderful Regency seaside town – books! I already adore Sidmouth for its fabulous mix of 21st century boutiques and 19th century seafront plus pretty Byes riverside park but last year the clever people at Kennaway House teamed up with local shop Winstone Books owner Wayne Winstone to create this super little festival. This year's line up so far includes Salley Vickers, Penelope Lively, Nicholas Evans and Robert Goddard and the festival looks like going from strength to strength after last year's inaugural event took the town by storm. And if you fancy yourself as a writer in the making, look out for commissioning editors from Penguin Viking and Pan Macmillan who will be at a special session for new writers seeking to get published. Stay at The Victoria Hotel, which sits in five acres of floral loveliness on the town's pretty esplanade. Make sure you get a south facing coastal view room – ask for one with a balcony.
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